From Fear to Freedom
by Ashtyn Carrigan
Recently a friend of mine, a teenager, had a baby out of wedlock. Her difficult childhood forced her to concentrate on survival; therefore she has hardly had the opportunity to represent herself in a true light. Her new school introduced a Christian lifestyle. Though her school enveloped her with love, her home life was scattered around her divorced parents and a foster home. Since she discovered she was pregnant, she attempted to hide it out of shame and fear of losing the friends she cherished. Her whole life has been a journey that has ventured out into deep waters, and though the darkness has tried to overcome, a light has finally begun to shine. This light is allowing my friend to let go of the past, and cling to the present.
Why wouldn’t she just be open with her pregnancy and hope for comfort among her group of friends? Although most of the friends at her school wouldn’t judge her, how would she know that? She only knew judgment and belittlement. I would like to note she recognized her choice and said, “I know it was a mistake but it happened. We take responsibility. We can do this because with God all things are possible.” All decisions have a cost, including this one. She didn’t have only one choice. She could have aborted this baby or given her up for adoption. She didn’t, because she felt like she was to take responsibility and mother this child to the best of her ability. Though this was her choice, she still didn’t feel comfortable sharing with all of her friends out of worry and shame. She tried to disguise her pregnancy. In result, she had to shut down relationship with her friends living day by day in fear of reprimand and her social life coming to an end.
While at the hospital, my friend had a gruelingly long labor. Though she hardly had family support, there were many encouraging family members on the daddy’s side. My mom, my sister and I had the precious opportunity to be with her and the daddy through the completely new adventure. As I sat, praying silently on the cold hospital floor by her bed, the daddy held her hand in comfort through contractions. As this was new to me, it was new to them. Whenever it came to the point she was about to have her baby, my mom (the only adult in the room) left to tell the nurse while three teenagers encouraged and prayed for this soon to be 17 year old mom. I would have never imagined such an instance as this come to pass in my life, but as it did, I saw a timestamp marking those couple days to be a reminder as the most redemptive story I have ever personally experienced.
Whether people continue to judge, love or criticize, God has a divine and redemptive destiny in this family through a new life. Jeremiah 1:5 states, “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I set you apart for my holy purpose.” Whenever I went to visit them at her house, I was almost brought to tears at the newness and life in my friend’s eyes. If I could see the gift that entered into the world in just a deep gaze, then how much greater would it be seeing the baby? I looked over to see the baby girl again and was simply overwhelmed. Knowing this child is a sweet reminder of the Father and His daily grace.
Even though my renewed friend felt as if she had to hide her pregnancy, she had her baby girl. In her eyes and in her life, she has been transformed from the inside out. She knows she has dependable loving friends. She trusts the Lord to equip her as a new mother and is a new person because of her new gift. Babies are a promise from God full of hope, blessing and love. Now, I can more clearly see that God can take what others see as inconvenient and create a blessing, a disguised blessing.